Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
