You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I would ride that face into the sunset
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
