if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
and she was petting her beer can
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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