I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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