youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
