They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize