the new term for farting is butt boxing.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
