We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
