i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
