Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
