"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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