we're making bets on your personal life
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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