He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
