I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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