Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
