I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I can text with my tongue
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She's the barista slut.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
