he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
