butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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