No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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