Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize