She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
