I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
