Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
