would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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