He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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