That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
God I need to hump something, right now.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
