Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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