She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
