I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
