Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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