So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
