And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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