There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
