I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize