i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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