I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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