the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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