Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
