I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
