We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
my poor anus
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
