If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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