Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
