oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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