Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
