New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
