Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I've blown a few things in my day
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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