At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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