You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
