im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize