Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
