I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize