Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
