the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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