He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
