If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
