1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
