Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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