I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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