how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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