Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
